Myth: You have to maintain a relationship with family members, even if they are toxic.
Fact: You have a choice.
Relationships are complicated, especially those with family. Many people receive the message, whether it is implied or said outright, that you have to maintain relationships with family no matter what. This message can even be a part of the very foundation of your cultural or religious identity! There is a great comfort, and even pride, in knowing that you always have someone in your corner, someone who accepts you no matter what.
But what happens if someone in your family has hurt you or abused you? What happens when having a relationship with a toxic family member has proved over and over to be damaging to your mental health and overall wellbeing? What happens when you have tried to repair these relationships and set boundaries, but it hasn’t helped? You have a choice, and one of those choices can be to disconnect from the relationship(s).
Cutting off ties with family can be a big choice to make, and you have to be prepared for the potential reactions that follow. This may mean you get push back, or angry responses, from others that may not agree with your decision. Using guilt and shame is also a common tactic used by others when you decide to set boundaries.
BUT… Your wellbeing and your health are important, and deserve to be protected! You get to decide who you want to be in your corner, and even redefine what “family” means to you.
Lastly, toxic family relationships don’t always have to remain toxic. Balance Wellness Collective conducts Family Therapy to drain toxicity, as well as repair and strengthen family relationships.
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